1. Statistics show that downloading porn illegally can make you go blind
2. You know that Trojan virus you got on your computer last week? That’s from downloading porn….don’t you feel stupid? Wait it gets better, you know that shop you had to take your computer to in order to fix it, as we speak they are looking at all of your porn and laughing at you.
3. Good Porn makes you feel younger, the more you masturbate, and the more you cum, the more you feel revitalized and refreshed. Which leads to other activities like eating right, exercising, and increased brain function….Which translates to Porn=Smart, Fit, Energized all for $20
4. Downloading porn is a crime. Take a good look in the mirror, do you look like a criminal? Can you imagine getting thrown up against a prison wall and getting raped….Don’t be that guy
5. Last but not least, an apocalypse could come and there could be some kind of nuclear fall out that wipes out all electricity…..wouldn’t it be nice to have some kind of magazine on hand? Masturbation relieves stress, and I imagine an apocalypse could be pretty stressful.
All in all, most of this may sound funny, but the bottom line is downloading porn is wrong. You’re taking money out of other peoples pockets. Your being a pick pocketer….
That’s totally like taking money out of someone else’s pocket off the street. It’s stealing! Bad Downloader, no donut! Just say No to Downloading!
This messege was brought to you by
SARAH DOOM!!!!!!!!
Doesn’t my name strike fear into your heart
This week was full of goodbyes. In my line of work, this isn’t always a bad thing.
Saying goodbye to Jazz Duro was sad. Only once a year do I get to feel those strong arms and hear that sexy voice, while the other 11+ months are filled with looking at the picture of his dick proudly hung in Lissa’s office. So, as he left, I got that one last hug, and as I pulled back, Jazz affectionately told me how he would love to cum all over my tits. Now as a woman in an administrative position, this comment was almost enough to send me over the edge. Just an ordinary girl who gets to go home and fantisize about Jazz and his huge cock and sexy accent. It looks like I’m going to need more batteries.
But to really top off my week, Jay Sin, one of my favorites, came to say goodbye before he embarked on his six-month-long tour of European buttholes. Before he left he grabbed a handful of my hair from the back, tilting my head down, and gave a couple of yanks which genuinely expressed how much he would miss me. And as I leaned back and smiled I’m sure he realized how much I would miss him.
While sometimes I am chastised for my bedside manner with the directors, I have to say, maybe it’s not always a negative. Think of all the aggression they have pent up from my harassing calls about turning in their movies on time. I bet it’s enough to cause them to want to hate-fuck me. It makes one truly enjoy the fruits of their labor.
Now those are prime ingrediants for a Doom Sandwich
An Inside E.A. shout-out goes to the delicious and nutritious BRITNEY STEVENS for taking time to plug her sublime orifice-pluggings in JOEY SILVERA’s FACE FUCKING INC. 3 and MANUAL FERRARA’s SLUTTY AND SLUTTIER 5 on the Howard Stern Show recently, before then suffering the assorted jibes and brickbats of Stern’s posse while she played “Dumb as a Rock” against a couple of random reality-show chicks.
Sadly, Britney was tragically unaware of Barack Obama’s middle-name (“Bin Laden?” she speculated, warming Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh’s heart) or what country Israel is currently making war with (“I was gonna say the Germans”). But she did demonstrate an admirable grasp of her chosen mission in life when she averred, “I like what I do and I like getting penetrated.”
She further wowed the dirty Stern boys by recalling her first sexual experience with her sister and fellow porn starlet Whitney Stevens: “We were a little drunk and having an orgy and our friends wanted to see us eat each other out.” Sure, she ultimately lost the contest, but would you kick her out of the sack for not knowing how to represent the number “10” in roman numerals? (“A one and a ‘V’?” she suggested.)
If you want to experience Britney in her natural environment, we’d suggest Slutty and Sluttier 5. Here’s what Rog’s Reviews says about the volcanic antics between the suave Frenchman and this eye-poppingly pneumatic fuck-bunny: “For those of you who have been waiting to see Britney really give up the ass in a big way, this is your scene. He takes that sweet butt and just wrecks it!”
(Doubters, please note visual aid at top of this article!)
The weather’s been pretty strange out here in Southern California the last month. It went from being hot on Christmas Day and staying warm for a couple of weeks, to now getting cold again and raining. I complained that it doesn’t snow here for the holidays, but now I think I’d take the warm winter back if I could.
Several of us here in the offices are sick, getting sick or just gettin better. And most of us are still stressed and tired from Vegas. Sarah Doom decided to make today Pajamas Day at the office. L. Baren from Buttman Magazine Choice said she’d bring in Smores and Sarah offered to bring in cookies for anyone who wore their pajamas in.
About 10 people were dressed in their bedtime comfy best. Here’s a few pics of the silliness.
-Karen
